Uber go on the charm offensive in today's media

Looking through today's media alert inbox, all I see are pointless Uber stories. So rather than commentating on them all in depth, I'll list them here in this one article with a brief analysis. Saves you reading the whole article and will also keep your blood pressure at a stable level!
Whenever Uber struggle in the public eye, the paid for articles are released on mass. So, what delights have they got in store for us today?
Londoners are turning to apps so they don't have to buy a car
Uber have paid for a YouGov Survey which reports 43% of Londoners believe that app-based car booking services are a genuine alternative to owning a car.
No mention of other apps offering their services to the London public, just a statement from Uber listing the benefits they offer. Supposedly Uber are driving down pollution and congestion. Yawn.
Uber Birthday
Yep, it's been five years of road carnage and Uber are celebrating. It's the usual rubbish like the public can't do without them, that they've changed the way people live their lives and that they've brought nothing but good to London.
Uber crosses 5 billion trips
Yawn. Supposedly this is newsworthy. And this is from Ubers own dubious statistics so who even knows if it's true.